Which is kind of tragic considering that, barring requiring a credit card number to join an archive/site/whatever, websites are actually completely unable to truly restrict content.

I agree. It seems to me that responsible web parenting is very different from responsible RL parenting and some people that are good at the latter are not good at the former. I don't know the solution for them is, but the common response seems to be to shift the blame onto the site itself. (And sadly IP's seem to react by shutting down the site--which none of us want.)

I mean, IANAL so I don't know much about the technical defintions of pornography - I know that academically the difference between pornography and erotic fiction is generally about to what extent the work is demeaning. Unfortunately that's a degree of sensitivity I don't think anyone really applies in these situations.

I agree with you here for the most part. I don't know what standards would/could be used, but I think it would be best not to have to find out. :/

Yeah, I got that from your post :) don't worry. It's a valid concern.
Thanks.